Asking for Recommendations Best Practices

First, prioritize people you know well—and who know you well—when seeking recommendations. After all, those who are able to provide specifics can help cast you in the best light.

Jill Goldenziel, JD, PhD, is a professor at Marine Corps University and regularly writes recommendations for service members and veterans. “I’ve written dozens of successful recommendations for my students for jobs and graduate school,” she says. “Job seekers should ask for recommendations from people who know them well and who can speak to the skills relevant to a particular job,” Goldenziel advises. Don’t ask someone just because they’re famous, she cautions. “In almost all cases, it’s better to have a letter from someone who knows you and your work well and will take the time to write a good letter than a senator whose intern will write two sentences about you. Your application is about you, not your recommender.”

Some of those you know may not immediately remember you, so it’s a good idea to remind them how they know you, Goldenziel suggests. “If you haven’t been in touch in a while, remind your recommender how you met, such as, ‘I was in your political science class in 2016-2017,’ and include a few sentences about what you’ve been doing since.”

Janelle Owens, HR Director at Test Prep Insight, an online education company, says two criteria are important when seeking a reference: ask people you have respect for and who have outward credibility. “If you have respect for someone, but they don’t carry much esteem, it may not be a great fit for hiring purposes, no matter your feelings. And likewise, even if someone is generally respected and has great credentials, but you don’t personally respect them, pass on getting a letter of recommendation from them. It needs to be a match both ways.” Military veterans, she says, are likely to seek references from someone in their direct chain of command. “Don’t be afraid to ask officers you served under for a letter of recommendation,” she says. 

Darrell Rosenstein, founder of The Rosenstein Group, a recruiting firm in the software development sector, agrees that military veterans should seek recommendations from those they’ve served with. “For a military veteran, a commanding officer could be an excellent person to ask for a recommendation, especially if your military experience is relatively recent—within the last five years.”